Until now, my kids have always been very honest with me. When other moms chatted about how their children lied to them, I felt sorry for them and thought about how I really couldn't relate.
"Turner, did you punch Tillman in the stomach?"
"NO! I punched him in the face"
You get the picture.
So for a couple of weeks I have expected that Tillman has been lying about different things, his stories weren't always adding up. But if he was lying, he was pretty good at it and able to lie with a straight face, which scared me even more.
A few nights ago at the dinner table, my fears were confirmed. Troy was lecturing Tillman and telling him how to change his behavior. Tillman looks up with the most innocent-serious face and says,
"I can't hear you....my ears are TUFFY." (translation: stuffy)
We're in trouble...
Thursday, July 28, 2016
Bad Dreams
Tillman (now 4) had a dream that was too funny not to remember and I thought, "Man, I sure wish I had a place I could write this down to remember for years to come." Oh yes...I do...I have a very neglected blog somewhere floating in cyberspace. Do people still say cyberspace? Not sure.
Anyway, Tillman woke up in a frenzy saying he'd had a bad dream. He has an expansive imagination so I was a little worried about what he was going to say.
He and Turner were locked in a giant cage by a BAD kid with their friends, Clara and Trey. I agreed that sounded like it could be scary. Just then, the bad kid SLAMMED the door and locked it tight and as he did it, he said (with much contempt and malice in his voice...)
.......
"YOU BUTTS".
I must have laughed in his face for 5 minutes. I would say I was laughing with him, but that's not so much the truth. He stood watching me with a very somber expression. Knowing that, "YOU BUTTS" is one of the greatest offenses in the preschool crowd, I made a half hearted attempt (through the lingering snickering) to let him know I was sorry he had a bad dream and that the bad kid was only in his imagination.
Anyway, Tillman woke up in a frenzy saying he'd had a bad dream. He has an expansive imagination so I was a little worried about what he was going to say.
He and Turner were locked in a giant cage by a BAD kid with their friends, Clara and Trey. I agreed that sounded like it could be scary. Just then, the bad kid SLAMMED the door and locked it tight and as he did it, he said (with much contempt and malice in his voice...)
.......
"YOU BUTTS".
I must have laughed in his face for 5 minutes. I would say I was laughing with him, but that's not so much the truth. He stood watching me with a very somber expression. Knowing that, "YOU BUTTS" is one of the greatest offenses in the preschool crowd, I made a half hearted attempt (through the lingering snickering) to let him know I was sorry he had a bad dream and that the bad kid was only in his imagination.
Thursday, September 4, 2014
I Need Help
I almost titled this, "I Wish I Was Indian", but figured that was slightly inappropriate or politically incorrect. So I decided to use my filter and only say that in the body of the blog. But in all honesty, I say it with the utmost respect. The Indian culture has it right, they have it all figured out.
In the several years that I've been teaching childbirth classes, we have always discussed a postpartum plan. How will you take care of yourself and be sure you get enough sleep? Where will your meals come from so you can be sure to eat a healthy and balanced diet? Who will clean and wash clothes so you don't have to?
EVERYONE looks at me in fear, or they at least shrug their shoulders and say they don't know who is going to do those things for them. The lucky ones at least have a Sunday School class that will provide meals for a week or two. But without fail, I have an Indian couple who tentatively raises their hand to each of those questions and says, "My mother will do those things."
Cue jaws dropping.
Generations of people living in the same (usually giant) house. It's brilliant. It's natural. It's balanced.
Having been a stay at home mom for just 4 and 1/2 short years, I am convinced now more than ever that we are not designed to live in complete isolation for hours on end, taking care of our children on our own.
In the beginning I thought it was just supposed to be hard, that we had to just figure things out. And yes, I have acquired more strength than I ever thought imaginable. I have been tested. I have proven to myself over and over again that I can survive when things are really really hard.
Like tonight.
No one napped. No one. So 3 o'clock on was basically the stuff that nightmares are made of. Tantrums. Snotty, drippy, whiny, screaming preschoolers in my face for HOURS. Where's my back up? Where is help when I genuinely feel like I can't go on? It doesn't really matter what happens. If I suddenly get a stomach bug, if I wake up with strep throat, if I have a migraine headache, if I'm 42 weeks pregnant and having contractions, it doesn't matter. I am on my own. Suck it up and figure it out because everyone else who loves my kids as much as I do is at work. That's just the way it is...
...but is that the way it's supposed to be?
When I started teaching at Texas Children's a couple of years ago, I hired a cleaning lady to come every other week. I felt embarrassed that I wasn't able to do it all myself and I was concerned that people would think I was doing it as a status symbol or because I'm a brat (which I may have a touch of brat in me). But it was one of the greatest things I've done. It's another form of asking for help, dropping my pride so I can do something that is good for my family. It helps Troy to feel more 'zen' because it at least means the house has a chance of staying clean for 48-72 hours. And it gives me more time to spend with my boys and keeps my frustration level down. But it's still not FAMILY. It's still not the support I so long for, the guarantee that someone has my back 24/7 if needed like I crave.
I joke in a text to a friend that I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. With a smile on my face, I tell my poor mom every other week to retire. But I'm not really joking.
In jest, though a tiny part of me may not have been kidding, I asked my mother-in-law if she would move in with us. She spoils me so by taking pleasure in helping with our laundry and dishes. Though it embarrasses me that it's not all done and I think I should be able to do it all, I have learned to try and graciously accept her help and not assume that she's judging the layer-of-filth-got-hit-by-a-hurricane-declared-a-disaster-area state of my house.
In the Indian culture, they have the opportunity to pass their knowledge and wisdom on to their kids day by day. When mom isn't feeling well (or is on the brink of a nervous breakdown), Grandma can sweep in and take over. They say it takes a village and I have never known that to be more true than I do at this phase of my life.
And I am lucky in that I have an INCREDIBLE village after 6:30 on the weekdays, either Troy gets home or help is only a phone call away if I need to call my parents or Troy's mom for help.
I have gotten really really good at asking for help if I need it. If they can't help for whatever reason, they can say no, but I am no longer hesitant to ask for help if I need it. That has been a humbling experience because for some reason, from the beginning I have thought that I should be able to do it all on my own. But I can't. I really really can't. I need help.
Aaaaand when it rains, it pours. I'm cutting this blog short and will not be going back to edit or double check that it makes sense....because Troy just popped his head into the office to say that Turner is throwing up. If it weren't SO NOT funny, I just might have to laugh.
In the several years that I've been teaching childbirth classes, we have always discussed a postpartum plan. How will you take care of yourself and be sure you get enough sleep? Where will your meals come from so you can be sure to eat a healthy and balanced diet? Who will clean and wash clothes so you don't have to?
EVERYONE looks at me in fear, or they at least shrug their shoulders and say they don't know who is going to do those things for them. The lucky ones at least have a Sunday School class that will provide meals for a week or two. But without fail, I have an Indian couple who tentatively raises their hand to each of those questions and says, "My mother will do those things."
Cue jaws dropping.
Generations of people living in the same (usually giant) house. It's brilliant. It's natural. It's balanced.
Having been a stay at home mom for just 4 and 1/2 short years, I am convinced now more than ever that we are not designed to live in complete isolation for hours on end, taking care of our children on our own.
In the beginning I thought it was just supposed to be hard, that we had to just figure things out. And yes, I have acquired more strength than I ever thought imaginable. I have been tested. I have proven to myself over and over again that I can survive when things are really really hard.
Like tonight.
No one napped. No one. So 3 o'clock on was basically the stuff that nightmares are made of. Tantrums. Snotty, drippy, whiny, screaming preschoolers in my face for HOURS. Where's my back up? Where is help when I genuinely feel like I can't go on? It doesn't really matter what happens. If I suddenly get a stomach bug, if I wake up with strep throat, if I have a migraine headache, if I'm 42 weeks pregnant and having contractions, it doesn't matter. I am on my own. Suck it up and figure it out because everyone else who loves my kids as much as I do is at work. That's just the way it is...
...but is that the way it's supposed to be?
When I started teaching at Texas Children's a couple of years ago, I hired a cleaning lady to come every other week. I felt embarrassed that I wasn't able to do it all myself and I was concerned that people would think I was doing it as a status symbol or because I'm a brat (which I may have a touch of brat in me). But it was one of the greatest things I've done. It's another form of asking for help, dropping my pride so I can do something that is good for my family. It helps Troy to feel more 'zen' because it at least means the house has a chance of staying clean for 48-72 hours. And it gives me more time to spend with my boys and keeps my frustration level down. But it's still not FAMILY. It's still not the support I so long for, the guarantee that someone has my back 24/7 if needed like I crave.
I joke in a text to a friend that I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. With a smile on my face, I tell my poor mom every other week to retire. But I'm not really joking.
In jest, though a tiny part of me may not have been kidding, I asked my mother-in-law if she would move in with us. She spoils me so by taking pleasure in helping with our laundry and dishes. Though it embarrasses me that it's not all done and I think I should be able to do it all, I have learned to try and graciously accept her help and not assume that she's judging the layer-of-filth-got-hit-by-a-hurricane-declared-a-disaster-area state of my house.
In the Indian culture, they have the opportunity to pass their knowledge and wisdom on to their kids day by day. When mom isn't feeling well (or is on the brink of a nervous breakdown), Grandma can sweep in and take over. They say it takes a village and I have never known that to be more true than I do at this phase of my life.
And I am lucky in that I have an INCREDIBLE village after 6:30 on the weekdays, either Troy gets home or help is only a phone call away if I need to call my parents or Troy's mom for help.
I have gotten really really good at asking for help if I need it. If they can't help for whatever reason, they can say no, but I am no longer hesitant to ask for help if I need it. That has been a humbling experience because for some reason, from the beginning I have thought that I should be able to do it all on my own. But I can't. I really really can't. I need help.
Aaaaand when it rains, it pours. I'm cutting this blog short and will not be going back to edit or double check that it makes sense....because Troy just popped his head into the office to say that Turner is throwing up. If it weren't SO NOT funny, I just might have to laugh.
Thursday, July 3, 2014
'The Valet Baby'
1:00AM: I laid down in my bed with Troy at 1am, thinking that my contractions would stop completely as they had in the days and weeks before. I once again wrapped my arms around my pregnancy pillow (you know, the Snoogle or Froogle or Pringle Dingle pillow...one of those that costs $75 bucks and promises you'll sleep like a log. We named him Bob.), hoping it would be the last time.
I realized the contractions were too strong and uncomfortable for me to lay down and decided to get out of bed to walk around some more as soon as I finished my last contraction. But before I could stand up, I felt the baby administer two hearty punches to my cervix and my bag of waters completely blew out with a gush of water.
I whispered, "Troyyyy. Troyyyy. Troyyyy."
Then a tap.
Then a nudge.
Then a shove.
"I think my water just broke."
"What?"
"MY WATER JUST BROKE ALL OVER THE BED."
That got his attention.
He sat up calmly and said that we could call the midwives and his mom to come over to stay with the boys while they slept.
I asked him to move a bit more quickly.
I stood up and water gushed down my legs, but then stopped completely. Did I just pee? Shouldn't the amniotic fluid still be coming out if my water actually broke?
Okay, maybe we do have some time.
1:10AM: Troy called the midwives to say that I thought my water might have broken. She said we could hang out and wait an hour or so and call back later.
1:20AM: He then called his mom who arrived 10 minutes later. I'm not sure she had slept a wink in the two weeks before the birth. She must have been sleeping in her clothes!
I had two distinctly different contractions and knew it was time to go. I had to flag Troy down in the whirlwind to tell him to forget the phone chargers and get me to the hospital!
1:25AM: We leave the house and I called to tell my sister that I 'thought' I was in labor and we were finally heading to the hospital.
We were calm, we were excited, and that all changed soon after we pulled onto highway 59.
Leaving the house unsure if I was in labor, to being certain that I wouldn't make it to the hospital in time, all within a matter of minutes.
Troy drove between 95mph and 110mph the entire way there. Looking up through the windshield between contractions, it looked like we were in a racing video game.
By the time we reached the Sweetwater exit, things were getting intense. At Beltway 8 Troy was promising me that we were close. We were NOT close and I knew it. By the time we reached the Kirby exit, I knew I wasn't going to make it. Finally we were at the Main Street exit and I had hope that we actually were getting closer.
By the time we reached the fountain in the med center, I felt Truett's head begin to crown. The familiar 'ring of fire' told me that he was only minutes away.
I instructed Troy not to stop for any more red lights and he obliged without hesitation. After all, he had been hoping to get a police escort since we had left the house!
I could hear Troy on the phone trying to get through the 97 prompts to reach the after hours call service for the midwives, but he was unable to get through to our midwife before we reached the valet driveway after running our final red light.
2:04AM: I had one more contraction in the car before I was able to stand up. But once I was on my feet, there was no moving.
Much to the dismay of the poor valet men and the HPD officer, I was not able to sit down in the wheelchair, walk or move. When I made mention of the fact that I could feel his head, everyone kicked into action and the officer called the emergency response team down to the valet area.
Troy urged me not to push yet while simultaneously yelling for a doctor. But if you've ever given birth, you know that not pushing is not an option at that point!
Seconds later, I told Troy, "I CAN FEEL THE HEAD....I'M NOT KIDDING."
2:05AM: Troy jumped into action. He reached down to feel that in Truett's head was in fact completely out, got my pants down and supported Truett's head with both hands. What a relief it was when he encouraged me to push with the next contraction, and with the second push, Truett had arrived!
I begged Troy to catch him and not drop him because I could feel the force that his slippery little body came out with. But he had him with both hands and quickly announced that Truett was PERFECT!
I finally obliged the valet and sat down in the wheelchair, Troy placed Truett on my chest and with relief in the same breath, I told Truett and Troy that I loved them and said hello to my sweet new baby. Moments later the emergency response team came downstairs, stunned to see that they weren't there to catch a baby, but to care for a baby who had already arrived!
The 15 doctors and nurses sprung into action but Truett never once left my chest. I was in love!
We never got his 1 minute or even 10 minute APGAR scores recorded (though I declared that he got 10s across the board) and we did our best to estimate his time of birth based on Troy's phone records, much to the dismay of the baby-nurse who wanted it to be exact to the minute. After the nurse asked for the time of birth for the third time, I laughed and said that I forgot to check my watch.
I've been giving Troy a hard time for thinking that he is now qualified to be an M.D., but I truly could not have done it without him. He handle the situation perfectly (with the exception of the constant string of jokes he made on the drive to the hospital). What an amazing experience and story that we will have the privilege of telling for the rest of his life!
I realized the contractions were too strong and uncomfortable for me to lay down and decided to get out of bed to walk around some more as soon as I finished my last contraction. But before I could stand up, I felt the baby administer two hearty punches to my cervix and my bag of waters completely blew out with a gush of water.
I whispered, "Troyyyy. Troyyyy. Troyyyy."
Then a tap.
Then a nudge.
Then a shove.
"I think my water just broke."
"What?"
"MY WATER JUST BROKE ALL OVER THE BED."
That got his attention.
He sat up calmly and said that we could call the midwives and his mom to come over to stay with the boys while they slept.
I asked him to move a bit more quickly.
I stood up and water gushed down my legs, but then stopped completely. Did I just pee? Shouldn't the amniotic fluid still be coming out if my water actually broke?
Okay, maybe we do have some time.
1:10AM: Troy called the midwives to say that I thought my water might have broken. She said we could hang out and wait an hour or so and call back later.
1:20AM: He then called his mom who arrived 10 minutes later. I'm not sure she had slept a wink in the two weeks before the birth. She must have been sleeping in her clothes!
I had two distinctly different contractions and knew it was time to go. I had to flag Troy down in the whirlwind to tell him to forget the phone chargers and get me to the hospital!
1:25AM: We leave the house and I called to tell my sister that I 'thought' I was in labor and we were finally heading to the hospital.
We were calm, we were excited, and that all changed soon after we pulled onto highway 59.
Leaving the house unsure if I was in labor, to being certain that I wouldn't make it to the hospital in time, all within a matter of minutes.
Troy drove between 95mph and 110mph the entire way there. Looking up through the windshield between contractions, it looked like we were in a racing video game.
By the time we reached the Sweetwater exit, things were getting intense. At Beltway 8 Troy was promising me that we were close. We were NOT close and I knew it. By the time we reached the Kirby exit, I knew I wasn't going to make it. Finally we were at the Main Street exit and I had hope that we actually were getting closer.
By the time we reached the fountain in the med center, I felt Truett's head begin to crown. The familiar 'ring of fire' told me that he was only minutes away.
I instructed Troy not to stop for any more red lights and he obliged without hesitation. After all, he had been hoping to get a police escort since we had left the house!
I could hear Troy on the phone trying to get through the 97 prompts to reach the after hours call service for the midwives, but he was unable to get through to our midwife before we reached the valet driveway after running our final red light.
2:04AM: I had one more contraction in the car before I was able to stand up. But once I was on my feet, there was no moving.
Much to the dismay of the poor valet men and the HPD officer, I was not able to sit down in the wheelchair, walk or move. When I made mention of the fact that I could feel his head, everyone kicked into action and the officer called the emergency response team down to the valet area.
Troy urged me not to push yet while simultaneously yelling for a doctor. But if you've ever given birth, you know that not pushing is not an option at that point!
Seconds later, I told Troy, "I CAN FEEL THE HEAD....I'M NOT KIDDING."
2:05AM: Troy jumped into action. He reached down to feel that in Truett's head was in fact completely out, got my pants down and supported Truett's head with both hands. What a relief it was when he encouraged me to push with the next contraction, and with the second push, Truett had arrived!
I begged Troy to catch him and not drop him because I could feel the force that his slippery little body came out with. But he had him with both hands and quickly announced that Truett was PERFECT!
I finally obliged the valet and sat down in the wheelchair, Troy placed Truett on my chest and with relief in the same breath, I told Truett and Troy that I loved them and said hello to my sweet new baby. Moments later the emergency response team came downstairs, stunned to see that they weren't there to catch a baby, but to care for a baby who had already arrived!
The 15 doctors and nurses sprung into action but Truett never once left my chest. I was in love!
We never got his 1 minute or even 10 minute APGAR scores recorded (though I declared that he got 10s across the board) and we did our best to estimate his time of birth based on Troy's phone records, much to the dismay of the baby-nurse who wanted it to be exact to the minute. After the nurse asked for the time of birth for the third time, I laughed and said that I forgot to check my watch.
I've been giving Troy a hard time for thinking that he is now qualified to be an M.D., but I truly could not have done it without him. He handle the situation perfectly (with the exception of the constant string of jokes he made on the drive to the hospital). What an amazing experience and story that we will have the privilege of telling for the rest of his life!
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Hurry Up and Wait
I trust the birth process. I trust God's timing. But man, that became a real challenge when I was sitting around still pregnant at 41 weeks and 5 days with no signs of labor. You learn a lot about yourself when you've waited almost two weeks past your due date for your sweet baby to arrive.
All of my friends who were pregnant and due around the same time were popping like wine corks. Then the girls who were due weeks after me had their babies. And here I sat....waiting. Waiting. Waiting.
We attended Vacation Bible School which started on the Monday that I was due. I told everyone I wouldn't be there Friday, I was pretty sure of it. But Friday came and went. By Saturday I was feeling a bit discouraged, a bit concerned, just a little bit anxious. But that night I had some pretty good strong contractions and found new hope! I called the midwife to let her know I was having some good strong contractions but told her that we would stay home a bit longer to be sure.
I laid down that night with some contractions, but they soon fizzled out.
Monday I had an appointment for a non-stress test (20 minutes of fetal monitoring) and a biophysical profile (ultrasound). Considering the fact that it was supposed to be a non-stress test, I was stressed! I had never been through this process and I had seen way to many friends and students of mine go through this only to be induced the same day. The OBs say that the baby is getting too big, the amniotic fluid is low, mom's blood pressure is high (no duh with all the poking and prodding and everyone around them telling them it's 'not healthy' for a baby to go past 40 weeks gestation!), the placenta didn't grade well, etc.
While I trusted and loved my midwives (who never once overreacted in my 9 and 1/2 months of pregnancy (or even after an eventful birth), I was still nervous that those performing the tests would be 'on the hunt' to find something wrong. Afterall, it all comes down to liability. Not necessarily logic, evidence, or reason.
Packing up my bags each time we went in for testing felt like D-day. Each time I wondered if I would make it home that night to sleep in my own bed, or if I would be forced into an induction for some made up medical condition.
Tuesday I took the boys to the train museum. I couldn't stand the idea of just sitting around the house thinking about waiting. We had a great time and it was a special gift to have fun with my big boys before the baby arrived.
Wednesday I tried acupuncture, deep tissue massage, and got an adjustment & alignment at West U Wellness. If I was going to be induced, I wanted to know that I gave my body every change to go into labor on its own. I was willing to try any natural remedy available (including sex everyday, as prescribed by my midwife....not as fun as it sounds at 9 and 1/2 months pregnant)!
Thursday was another biophysical profile and non-stress test. That day we scheduled the induction for Sunday night at 5pm. I was extremely anxious but stayed focused on getting myself home and was encouraged that I still had two days left to go into labor on my own. Knowing that 42 weeks is not the magic number for things to start going badly, I laid awake at night contemplating the idea of not showing up for the induction. But where would I go to give birth? Who would take me? Do I walk in to the closest ER and hope for the best? What kind of options are these?
Friday my mom took the boys and left me to do some Hypnobirthing relaxation practice and meditation. I spent the morning researching castor oil and the effect it has on labor. Remember, I said I was willing to try anything at this point! So....I spent that afternoon during the boys naps on the toilet. Then I went back for more acupuncture, deep tissue massage, and another adjustment & alignment. On the way home I picked up some Evening Primrose Oil and red raspberry leaf tea. We went for a family walk that night.
With 48 hours left till induction day, no signs of labor, and a baby so high that I could feel him kicking my rib cage, I didn't have much hope left.
After the boys went to bed that Friday night, I took a second dose (2 tablespoons) of castor oil and we settled in for the night. We had sex for the zillionth time. And I had some pretty good contractions start up, but they were no more strong or intense than they had been the previous Saturday when we called the midwife.
Troy went to bed and I decided to stay up to walk around and sit on the birth ball. I went for a visit to the baby's room, hoping I could visualize him out of me! I looked around, imagined what it would be like when he got here, stuffed some cloth diapers to give myself something to do, and paced the hallways. While I had been in regular prayer asking the Lord not to let me go into an induction or to have a c-section, I hadn't meditated in prayer and scripture and I was feeling called to do so. I found an awesome blog titled "Scriptural Encouragement for Preparing & Giving Birth". The author packed a powerful punch of scripture verses and one stood out to me. Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen ~Hebrews 11:1. I made it the wallpaper on my phone and tattooed it on my heart.
More contractions, more walking, more doubt that this was really it.
TO BE CONTINUED.....
All of my friends who were pregnant and due around the same time were popping like wine corks. Then the girls who were due weeks after me had their babies. And here I sat....waiting. Waiting. Waiting.
We attended Vacation Bible School which started on the Monday that I was due. I told everyone I wouldn't be there Friday, I was pretty sure of it. But Friday came and went. By Saturday I was feeling a bit discouraged, a bit concerned, just a little bit anxious. But that night I had some pretty good strong contractions and found new hope! I called the midwife to let her know I was having some good strong contractions but told her that we would stay home a bit longer to be sure.
I laid down that night with some contractions, but they soon fizzled out.
Monday I had an appointment for a non-stress test (20 minutes of fetal monitoring) and a biophysical profile (ultrasound). Considering the fact that it was supposed to be a non-stress test, I was stressed! I had never been through this process and I had seen way to many friends and students of mine go through this only to be induced the same day. The OBs say that the baby is getting too big, the amniotic fluid is low, mom's blood pressure is high (no duh with all the poking and prodding and everyone around them telling them it's 'not healthy' for a baby to go past 40 weeks gestation!), the placenta didn't grade well, etc.
While I trusted and loved my midwives (who never once overreacted in my 9 and 1/2 months of pregnancy (or even after an eventful birth), I was still nervous that those performing the tests would be 'on the hunt' to find something wrong. Afterall, it all comes down to liability. Not necessarily logic, evidence, or reason.
Packing up my bags each time we went in for testing felt like D-day. Each time I wondered if I would make it home that night to sleep in my own bed, or if I would be forced into an induction for some made up medical condition.
Tuesday I took the boys to the train museum. I couldn't stand the idea of just sitting around the house thinking about waiting. We had a great time and it was a special gift to have fun with my big boys before the baby arrived.
Wednesday I tried acupuncture, deep tissue massage, and got an adjustment & alignment at West U Wellness. If I was going to be induced, I wanted to know that I gave my body every change to go into labor on its own. I was willing to try any natural remedy available (including sex everyday, as prescribed by my midwife....not as fun as it sounds at 9 and 1/2 months pregnant)!
Thursday was another biophysical profile and non-stress test. That day we scheduled the induction for Sunday night at 5pm. I was extremely anxious but stayed focused on getting myself home and was encouraged that I still had two days left to go into labor on my own. Knowing that 42 weeks is not the magic number for things to start going badly, I laid awake at night contemplating the idea of not showing up for the induction. But where would I go to give birth? Who would take me? Do I walk in to the closest ER and hope for the best? What kind of options are these?
Friday my mom took the boys and left me to do some Hypnobirthing relaxation practice and meditation. I spent the morning researching castor oil and the effect it has on labor. Remember, I said I was willing to try anything at this point! So....I spent that afternoon during the boys naps on the toilet. Then I went back for more acupuncture, deep tissue massage, and another adjustment & alignment. On the way home I picked up some Evening Primrose Oil and red raspberry leaf tea. We went for a family walk that night.
With 48 hours left till induction day, no signs of labor, and a baby so high that I could feel him kicking my rib cage, I didn't have much hope left.
After the boys went to bed that Friday night, I took a second dose (2 tablespoons) of castor oil and we settled in for the night. We had sex for the zillionth time. And I had some pretty good contractions start up, but they were no more strong or intense than they had been the previous Saturday when we called the midwife.
Troy went to bed and I decided to stay up to walk around and sit on the birth ball. I went for a visit to the baby's room, hoping I could visualize him out of me! I looked around, imagined what it would be like when he got here, stuffed some cloth diapers to give myself something to do, and paced the hallways. While I had been in regular prayer asking the Lord not to let me go into an induction or to have a c-section, I hadn't meditated in prayer and scripture and I was feeling called to do so. I found an awesome blog titled "Scriptural Encouragement for Preparing & Giving Birth". The author packed a powerful punch of scripture verses and one stood out to me. Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen ~Hebrews 11:1. I made it the wallpaper on my phone and tattooed it on my heart.
More contractions, more walking, more doubt that this was really it.
TO BE CONTINUED.....
Friday, April 11, 2014
Sausage Fest
The term 'sausage fest' derives from our college days when the guys would show up to a party and there were more guys than girls. While it may be a smidge inappropriate, I cannot think of a better title for this blog post. It describes my awesome-crazy-busy-messy life perfectly!
So around this time in pregnancy comes a surge of hormones that I guess are just a necessary evil. Troy would probably refer to them as the crazy-bipolar-irrational-fear mongering 7 month hormones. Call them what you wish, I don't feel like I have much control. I've been better about recognizing what is logical and what is strictly hormonal with this pregnancy. Not that I think my feelings are any less real, or that I don't deserve to express them, just that I keep in mind that I sound like a crazy person when I'm talking to Troy and I try to stay calm.
So this rant stems from legitimate feelings and from a place that is overly sensitive and cannot be appeased by anyone.
I often read rants from pregnant women about all of the horrible things that people say to pregnant women. In fact, I wrote a similar post around this time in my pregnancy with Turner (I think the line, "MIND YOUR BEESWAX" jumps to mind). But now that I see other people writing complains about those people, it really bugs me. These people have good intentions and are just trying to give women special attention during a very significant time in their lives and don't really understand that saying, "Wow! YOU'RE HUGE!" can be hurtful at a time when she's already feeling self-conscious about weight gain. But for the most part people are trying to be kind and complimentary and it's annoying to hear pregnant women whine that too many people have touched her belly.
Long story longer, I only have ONE complaint about things that people have said to me during this pregnancy. Everything else is well-received. Maybe it's due in part to the fact that most women haven't had 3 kids and can't continuously dish their advice on me. But for the most part I think it's that I've been able to switch my mindset. I've recognized that I won't be pregnant forever, I won't get that special attention forever, and that people are just trying to be nice and caring.
The ONE exception to that is when I tell people that I'm having a third boy. :)
One woman threw her hands up and actually said, "WHY GOD?!"
Most people just say, "Oh wow. You're going to have your hands full."
OR
"Get ready!"
People who actually think about what they are saying before they speak say, "Oh that's great! You were born to be a 'boy mom'."
OR
"Awwww they're going to be the best of friends. It's awesome to have all brothers!"
That's always nice and exactly how I feel and exactly what I want people to say.
It's just very strange to me that people assume I was desperately trying for a girl. I just want a big family, and if that family consists of three boys...great. If it consisted of three girls....great. I just want noise and chaos and it doesn't matter to me that much if that's with daughters or sons.
The ultimate annoyance is when people say, "Ohhhh you need to have a daughter! Ohhhh you need to experience that connection between a mother and a daughter!" WTF?! I have incredible connections with my boys, why are you trying to take that away from me with your words?!
Why do women who have girls try to make boy moms feel like crap that they don't have boys and why do women who have boys make girl moms feel like they did something wrong by not having boys? Freaking weird.
The ultrasound tech that we saw last said that people talk about coming in for their gender ultrasound and she corrects them and says that they're having an anatomy scan. We forget that the priority is having healthy children. Dear God, please let my children be healthy! Finding out the gender is simply the icing on the cake called parenthood.
I also find it strange that no one acts disappointed when someone has 2 boys or 2 girls, but as soon as you announce that you're having your third boy or your third girl they look at you like you should throw the third kid back like a freaking catfish.
Why can't you be excited for me that I was able to get pregnant when so many women can't?! Why can't you be excited that I'm excited about my third son and that I'm certainly NOT mourning the loss of prom dress shopping, wedding dress shopping?! In fact, those things make me sweat just thinking about them.
So, does part of me wonder what the relationship with a daughter would be?...What it would be like to take care of a little girl and buy little funky 80s inspired girl outfits?...What Troy would be like with a daughter?...YES.
But am I far more excited about the relationship that I'll have with 3 sons?...That I'll always be the princess of the house?...That I gave Troy the son(s) he asked for? That if there's something pink in the laundry pile that I'll immediately know it's mine?...That I'll be attending a lot of baseball games?...That my boys already are and always will be the best of buddies?...That we're going to have a heck of a lot of fun?...YESSSS!
So be happy with me and be happy for us, because we cannot wait for the arrival of Truett Law!!!
**Disclaimer: I think this is the first mention of my third pregnancy on my blog. It's not that I've neglected my pregnancy, I've just neglected my poor blog lately! Most of my announcements and excitement has been expressed on Facebook instead.
So around this time in pregnancy comes a surge of hormones that I guess are just a necessary evil. Troy would probably refer to them as the crazy-bipolar-irrational-fear mongering 7 month hormones. Call them what you wish, I don't feel like I have much control. I've been better about recognizing what is logical and what is strictly hormonal with this pregnancy. Not that I think my feelings are any less real, or that I don't deserve to express them, just that I keep in mind that I sound like a crazy person when I'm talking to Troy and I try to stay calm.
So this rant stems from legitimate feelings and from a place that is overly sensitive and cannot be appeased by anyone.
I often read rants from pregnant women about all of the horrible things that people say to pregnant women. In fact, I wrote a similar post around this time in my pregnancy with Turner (I think the line, "MIND YOUR BEESWAX" jumps to mind). But now that I see other people writing complains about those people, it really bugs me. These people have good intentions and are just trying to give women special attention during a very significant time in their lives and don't really understand that saying, "Wow! YOU'RE HUGE!" can be hurtful at a time when she's already feeling self-conscious about weight gain. But for the most part people are trying to be kind and complimentary and it's annoying to hear pregnant women whine that too many people have touched her belly.
Long story longer, I only have ONE complaint about things that people have said to me during this pregnancy. Everything else is well-received. Maybe it's due in part to the fact that most women haven't had 3 kids and can't continuously dish their advice on me. But for the most part I think it's that I've been able to switch my mindset. I've recognized that I won't be pregnant forever, I won't get that special attention forever, and that people are just trying to be nice and caring.
The ONE exception to that is when I tell people that I'm having a third boy. :)
One woman threw her hands up and actually said, "WHY GOD?!"
Most people just say, "Oh wow. You're going to have your hands full."
OR
"Get ready!"
People who actually think about what they are saying before they speak say, "Oh that's great! You were born to be a 'boy mom'."
OR
"Awwww they're going to be the best of friends. It's awesome to have all brothers!"
That's always nice and exactly how I feel and exactly what I want people to say.
It's just very strange to me that people assume I was desperately trying for a girl. I just want a big family, and if that family consists of three boys...great. If it consisted of three girls....great. I just want noise and chaos and it doesn't matter to me that much if that's with daughters or sons.
The ultimate annoyance is when people say, "Ohhhh you need to have a daughter! Ohhhh you need to experience that connection between a mother and a daughter!" WTF?! I have incredible connections with my boys, why are you trying to take that away from me with your words?!
Why do women who have girls try to make boy moms feel like crap that they don't have boys and why do women who have boys make girl moms feel like they did something wrong by not having boys? Freaking weird.
The ultrasound tech that we saw last said that people talk about coming in for their gender ultrasound and she corrects them and says that they're having an anatomy scan. We forget that the priority is having healthy children. Dear God, please let my children be healthy! Finding out the gender is simply the icing on the cake called parenthood.
I also find it strange that no one acts disappointed when someone has 2 boys or 2 girls, but as soon as you announce that you're having your third boy or your third girl they look at you like you should throw the third kid back like a freaking catfish.
Why can't you be excited for me that I was able to get pregnant when so many women can't?! Why can't you be excited that I'm excited about my third son and that I'm certainly NOT mourning the loss of prom dress shopping, wedding dress shopping?! In fact, those things make me sweat just thinking about them.
So, does part of me wonder what the relationship with a daughter would be?...What it would be like to take care of a little girl and buy little funky 80s inspired girl outfits?...What Troy would be like with a daughter?...YES.
But am I far more excited about the relationship that I'll have with 3 sons?...That I'll always be the princess of the house?...That I gave Troy the son(s) he asked for? That if there's something pink in the laundry pile that I'll immediately know it's mine?...That I'll be attending a lot of baseball games?...That my boys already are and always will be the best of buddies?...That we're going to have a heck of a lot of fun?...YESSSS!
So be happy with me and be happy for us, because we cannot wait for the arrival of Truett Law!!!
**Disclaimer: I think this is the first mention of my third pregnancy on my blog. It's not that I've neglected my pregnancy, I've just neglected my poor blog lately! Most of my announcements and excitement has been expressed on Facebook instead.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
I. Am. A. Tornado.
We laugh at our kids a lot...sometimes with them, but mostly at them. One of the most entertaining things that Turner does right now is call something by its almost-name.
For example, when we were little, Shannon (my sister) called lasagna and vaginas by the same name..."vasagnas"!
So I wrote a few of Turner's down over the last year, some of which he now says correctly. To be honest, I get a little sad when he starts saying them correctly, but I guess they have to grow up some time!
My boys love tomatoes and when he first learned to say "tomato" about a year ago, it originated as "namoe".
He's a picky eater, but I can always count on him to eat his spaghetti. Around the same time as namoes, the "noodles" were actually "nookles", and you couldn't tell him any different!
Turner has one little freckle on his finger that I love to shower in kisses. But he really likes to admire his "frankle".
More recently, since it's been cool outside, Turner asks if he has to wear "long shorts". With it being cold all of 4 days out of the year in Houston, Texas, we're rarely in anything but t-shirts and basketball shorts. So much so that the word "pants" isn't even in his vocabulary. I have to laugh!
With the weather changes lately, our noses have all been running. Though he's been asking for "tissues" or "Kleenexes" since he could talk, recently he's decided that they are not called "tissues", but "tennis shoes"...it only makes sense. I just roll with it and laugh, Troy tells him they're probably in his closet before he realizes what he's really asking for. I'll miss it when he decides that it's easier just to call it by its real name.
Yes, we occasionally eat fast food. The boys love Sonic and Turner particularly enjoys eating "potater-tots".
Last and probably my favorite...we've been singing a lot of Christmas carols. The boys go in circles around the kitchen island with their drums while I sing The Little Drummer Boy as the boys march and play. "Come they told me, pa rum pa pum pum. I am a poor boy too, pa rum pa pum pum." I love that Turner's been singing Christmas carols and all of the songs he learns at school, but Little Drummer Boy has to be my favorite. "Come they told me, pa rum pa pum pum. I am a tornado too, pa rum pa pum pum."
For example, when we were little, Shannon (my sister) called lasagna and vaginas by the same name..."vasagnas"!
So I wrote a few of Turner's down over the last year, some of which he now says correctly. To be honest, I get a little sad when he starts saying them correctly, but I guess they have to grow up some time!
My boys love tomatoes and when he first learned to say "tomato" about a year ago, it originated as "namoe".
He's a picky eater, but I can always count on him to eat his spaghetti. Around the same time as namoes, the "noodles" were actually "nookles", and you couldn't tell him any different!
Turner has one little freckle on his finger that I love to shower in kisses. But he really likes to admire his "frankle".
More recently, since it's been cool outside, Turner asks if he has to wear "long shorts". With it being cold all of 4 days out of the year in Houston, Texas, we're rarely in anything but t-shirts and basketball shorts. So much so that the word "pants" isn't even in his vocabulary. I have to laugh!
With the weather changes lately, our noses have all been running. Though he's been asking for "tissues" or "Kleenexes" since he could talk, recently he's decided that they are not called "tissues", but "tennis shoes"...it only makes sense. I just roll with it and laugh, Troy tells him they're probably in his closet before he realizes what he's really asking for. I'll miss it when he decides that it's easier just to call it by its real name.
Yes, we occasionally eat fast food. The boys love Sonic and Turner particularly enjoys eating "potater-tots".
Last and probably my favorite...we've been singing a lot of Christmas carols. The boys go in circles around the kitchen island with their drums while I sing The Little Drummer Boy as the boys march and play. "Come they told me, pa rum pa pum pum. I am a poor boy too, pa rum pa pum pum." I love that Turner's been singing Christmas carols and all of the songs he learns at school, but Little Drummer Boy has to be my favorite. "Come they told me, pa rum pa pum pum. I am a tornado too, pa rum pa pum pum."
Date Night
My one goal over the holiday break was to go on a date night with my husband.
Little did I know that the only "break" we were going to get was in the bones of Troy's foot. It ended up being a week of Troy laying on the couch asking for stuff and complaining that his neck hurt from watching too much tv.
Hey...it's my blog, I can say what I want. :)
So the night before Troy was supposed to go back to work I called mom and dad in desperation and asked them to come watch the boys. They were all too happy to come hang out with their little babes.
So off we went on our date!
Once we got past the first 15 minutes of Troy complaining that he wasn't aware of any date on our calendar, complaining about the $35 dollars that dinner, coke, and a movie were going to cost, me threatening to turn the car around (see broken foot above...I was driving), we were off to have a great time.
We went to supper and talked about all of the things we hadn't been caught up on over the last couple of months since our last date. I split a meal with him and the waiter gave me free soup, so it only cost $8 each. I think that made him happy that in the words of Glenna Knight, I was a "cheap date".
Then we're not only the people who are so cheap that we bring gas station candy into the movie theater, we're actually the people who are too cheap to spring for gas station candy, so we went to HEB instead. Yep. I feel special. But HEB ended up being the highlight of my night.
We got to the store and all of the motorized carts for old people were out of batteries, so we had to ask some guy to grab one for us. It was certainly the highlight of that guy's night. So off we went and boy do those little motorized carts cover some good ground! In the meantime I almost peed my pants every time we passed an old ladies on foot who glared at us for taking the last motorized cart.
We finally make it to the candy aisle, me walking about 10 feet in front of Troy who has become far too comfortable buzzing through the grocery stores (and Home Depot) on what he imagines to be a tiny go-cart custom designed to meet his need for speed.
I grab a roll of ShockTarts and a Laffy Taffy, Troy grabs a movie sized box of Twizzlers. No sooner that I put my roll of ShockTarts in his basket, they fall through the holes of the basket and he runs over them, leaving a 5 foot trail of candies. As if that wasn't funny enough, he apologized profusely in an old lady voice. I had to close my eyes, cross my legs, and plug my ears in an effort not to pee on the floor in the middle of the candy aisle of HEB. P.S. Picture him hunched over like an old man, for some reason he felt the need to play the part wherever he went. I saw my life flash forward about 50 years!
Anyways, I grabbed a $4 chapstick from the Burt's Bee's wax because my lips were so dry and I couldn't find my usual $1 stuff. It sure had a funny smell to it, but it did the job.
So we got in the car to try and make our movie on time. But as soon as we sat down in the car Troy rips a huge fart (the stuff dream dates are made of). I did my usual yelling with my head sticking out the window and asked why he waited until the vehicle was sealed when he had 15 yards of fresh air to pollute on the way to the car.
Suddenly he asked me in a panicked voice, "Why does my fart smell like potpourri?!?!"
"THAT'S MY CHAPSTICK, YOU FOOL!!!"
More leg crossing, eye closing, and ear plugging for me, he would have killed me if I had peed in his car!
Little did I know that the only "break" we were going to get was in the bones of Troy's foot. It ended up being a week of Troy laying on the couch asking for stuff and complaining that his neck hurt from watching too much tv.
Hey...it's my blog, I can say what I want. :)
So the night before Troy was supposed to go back to work I called mom and dad in desperation and asked them to come watch the boys. They were all too happy to come hang out with their little babes.
So off we went on our date!
Once we got past the first 15 minutes of Troy complaining that he wasn't aware of any date on our calendar, complaining about the $35 dollars that dinner, coke, and a movie were going to cost, me threatening to turn the car around (see broken foot above...I was driving), we were off to have a great time.
We went to supper and talked about all of the things we hadn't been caught up on over the last couple of months since our last date. I split a meal with him and the waiter gave me free soup, so it only cost $8 each. I think that made him happy that in the words of Glenna Knight, I was a "cheap date".
Then we're not only the people who are so cheap that we bring gas station candy into the movie theater, we're actually the people who are too cheap to spring for gas station candy, so we went to HEB instead. Yep. I feel special. But HEB ended up being the highlight of my night.
We got to the store and all of the motorized carts for old people were out of batteries, so we had to ask some guy to grab one for us. It was certainly the highlight of that guy's night. So off we went and boy do those little motorized carts cover some good ground! In the meantime I almost peed my pants every time we passed an old ladies on foot who glared at us for taking the last motorized cart.
We finally make it to the candy aisle, me walking about 10 feet in front of Troy who has become far too comfortable buzzing through the grocery stores (and Home Depot) on what he imagines to be a tiny go-cart custom designed to meet his need for speed.
I grab a roll of ShockTarts and a Laffy Taffy, Troy grabs a movie sized box of Twizzlers. No sooner that I put my roll of ShockTarts in his basket, they fall through the holes of the basket and he runs over them, leaving a 5 foot trail of candies. As if that wasn't funny enough, he apologized profusely in an old lady voice. I had to close my eyes, cross my legs, and plug my ears in an effort not to pee on the floor in the middle of the candy aisle of HEB. P.S. Picture him hunched over like an old man, for some reason he felt the need to play the part wherever he went. I saw my life flash forward about 50 years!
Anyways, I grabbed a $4 chapstick from the Burt's Bee's wax because my lips were so dry and I couldn't find my usual $1 stuff. It sure had a funny smell to it, but it did the job.
So we got in the car to try and make our movie on time. But as soon as we sat down in the car Troy rips a huge fart (the stuff dream dates are made of). I did my usual yelling with my head sticking out the window and asked why he waited until the vehicle was sealed when he had 15 yards of fresh air to pollute on the way to the car.
Suddenly he asked me in a panicked voice, "Why does my fart smell like potpourri?!?!"
"THAT'S MY CHAPSTICK, YOU FOOL!!!"
More leg crossing, eye closing, and ear plugging for me, he would have killed me if I had peed in his car!
Monday, August 19, 2013
Pacifier Routine
Tillman doesn't have too many vices, but the pacifiers crack me up. Our current routine before bedtime and naptime is that he brings two pacifiers in the room with him, one in his hand and one in his mouth (he'd bring more if I'd let him...). Then I lay him down in my lap and only when HE'S ready, he hands the one in his hand to me and then the one in his mouth. Then when he's done nursing he promptly turns his head and opens his mouth all ready for the first paci. Then he lifts his outer arm and grabs the other one. He's ready to zonk out and doesn't make another peep!
But if I try to do this routine ANY other way we're going to have a problem. If I try to take the pacis from him before he's ready to hang them to me, if I try to wait until we're in his room to hand them to him, or if I wait to give them back after he's done eating, we're going to have a problem!
But hey, I've got a good sleeper who goes down without a peep and sleeps for 3 hours during the day and all through the night which ends up being 11 or 12 hours....I'm NOT complaining!
I'd do an Irish Jig each night if I thought it would help them to sleep.
But if I try to do this routine ANY other way we're going to have a problem. If I try to take the pacis from him before he's ready to hang them to me, if I try to wait until we're in his room to hand them to him, or if I wait to give them back after he's done eating, we're going to have a problem!
But hey, I've got a good sleeper who goes down without a peep and sleeps for 3 hours during the day and all through the night which ends up being 11 or 12 hours....I'm NOT complaining!
I'd do an Irish Jig each night if I thought it would help them to sleep.
Bedtime Tricks
Turner's latest ploy for delaying bedtime is to ask what time everyone's waking up. "What time is me waking up? What time is daddy waking up? What time is the sun waking up? What time is me and Tillman and daddy waking up? What time is Pops and Gigi waking up?" He continues with any version and combination you can imagine until we finally have to just say goodnight and close the door.
It took us a couple of nights to figure out this new game, boy they are smart!
It took us a couple of nights to figure out this new game, boy they are smart!
9 Years & Truckin'
Troy and I celebrated our 9 year wedding anniversary last week. He called and said he had his mom was coming over to watch the boys so we could go out. I felt like we'd had so little really good quality family time lately that I just wanted to hang out as a family with nothing to do or accomplish for the night. So we fixed dinner and hung out and didn't take on any projects or tasks. We just spend the whole night together as a family. It was exactly what the doctor ordered!
Then Troy asked what I wanted to do and I asked if he would pleeeeease watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding (I'm pretty low maintenance). It's one of the only movies of all times that we both agree on and love. So we popped it into the DVD player and just chilled together.
We died laughing throughout the movie as if we hadn't already seen it together one hundred million times. We were wheeze laughing when the boyfriend asked Tulla's brother how to say "thank you" in Greek so he could thank Tulla's mother for the food she fixed him. The brother rambled off something in Greek and the boyfriend repeated it in appreciation. As soon as he said it the room went silent and everyone stopped to stare at him. Well, as it turned out the brother had not taught him how to say "thank you" in Greek, but "nice boobs" instead. I laughed so hard I cried and we were both doing the silent laugh-till-you-can't-breathe laugh.
Later in the movie the brother and their cousin managed to get the boyfriend to announce to the entire family that he had three testicles as well. Classic...
Then Troy asked what I wanted to do and I asked if he would pleeeeease watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding (I'm pretty low maintenance). It's one of the only movies of all times that we both agree on and love. So we popped it into the DVD player and just chilled together.
We died laughing throughout the movie as if we hadn't already seen it together one hundred million times. We were wheeze laughing when the boyfriend asked Tulla's brother how to say "thank you" in Greek so he could thank Tulla's mother for the food she fixed him. The brother rambled off something in Greek and the boyfriend repeated it in appreciation. As soon as he said it the room went silent and everyone stopped to stare at him. Well, as it turned out the brother had not taught him how to say "thank you" in Greek, but "nice boobs" instead. I laughed so hard I cried and we were both doing the silent laugh-till-you-can't-breathe laugh.
Later in the movie the brother and their cousin managed to get the boyfriend to announce to the entire family that he had three testicles as well. Classic...
Monday, June 24, 2013
The Latest with Baby
Tillman loves to say "Sunshine!" every morning when I open the window.
He can say: cheese, sunshine, mama, dada, bubba, choo choo, hi, ball, shoe, Pops, Gigi, this, that, and yeah.
He at least attempts to repeat every word I ask him to say. He's got a great vocabulary for a 15 month old baby! He still takes a paci but it sure hasn't interfered with him learning new words.
He understands everything I tell him. It's really fun with him being able to communicate.
He's loves to swing his arms in front of him and clap his hands. He's very cool. And sometimes he swings his arms behind his back like George Jefferson. SO funny. We keep trying to catch it on video but seem to just miss it.
At 15 months he finished cutting ALL of his teeth a few weeks ago and has a mouth FULL of teeth.
He can say: cheese, sunshine, mama, dada, bubba, choo choo, hi, ball, shoe, Pops, Gigi, this, that, and yeah.
He at least attempts to repeat every word I ask him to say. He's got a great vocabulary for a 15 month old baby! He still takes a paci but it sure hasn't interfered with him learning new words.
He understands everything I tell him. It's really fun with him being able to communicate.
He's loves to swing his arms in front of him and clap his hands. He's very cool. And sometimes he swings his arms behind his back like George Jefferson. SO funny. We keep trying to catch it on video but seem to just miss it.
At 15 months he finished cutting ALL of his teeth a few weeks ago and has a mouth FULL of teeth.
A ROBOT?!?!
This morning I told Turner I was going to go get my robe on. He looked up at me and said, "A ROBOT?!?!"
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
DAY TWENTY TWO
Lightbulb moment.
If there's something still left in my diet that I will eat even when I'm not truly hungry, then I should probably eliminate it altogether.
I would never overeat on steak or green beans or even fruit which tells me they should probably be at the center of my diet.
What's left in my diet (within the confines of the 30 day challenge) that I do sometimes crave and I am tempted to overeat on are protein shakes and hummus. Neither of these items are technically Paleo anyways....and I can see why. I may not get rid of these completely but I know I need to use them in moderation.
Another way to tell if something is worthy of going into my body is based on its shelf-life. The longer it can sit on a shelf, the worse it is.
My guess is that the more I crave something, the less I should incorporate it into my diet.
#1 craving is Diet Coke, hands down. It's anti-Paleo, I crave it like nothing else, and it doesn't expire...that can't be good!
#2 is candy. Again, anti-Paleo, major cravings, and no real shelf-life.
#3 enriched flour products.
#4 cheese.
#5 protein shakes.
These are all foods that I would happily eat more of even if my stomach was full. That's probably a good sign that they're either not good for me or they're not the best foods for my body.
End lightbulb moment.
If there's something still left in my diet that I will eat even when I'm not truly hungry, then I should probably eliminate it altogether.
I would never overeat on steak or green beans or even fruit which tells me they should probably be at the center of my diet.
What's left in my diet (within the confines of the 30 day challenge) that I do sometimes crave and I am tempted to overeat on are protein shakes and hummus. Neither of these items are technically Paleo anyways....and I can see why. I may not get rid of these completely but I know I need to use them in moderation.
Another way to tell if something is worthy of going into my body is based on its shelf-life. The longer it can sit on a shelf, the worse it is.
My guess is that the more I crave something, the less I should incorporate it into my diet.
#1 craving is Diet Coke, hands down. It's anti-Paleo, I crave it like nothing else, and it doesn't expire...that can't be good!
#2 is candy. Again, anti-Paleo, major cravings, and no real shelf-life.
#3 enriched flour products.
#4 cheese.
#5 protein shakes.
These are all foods that I would happily eat more of even if my stomach was full. That's probably a good sign that they're either not good for me or they're not the best foods for my body.
End lightbulb moment.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
DAY TWENTY ONE
So far this has been one step at a time. First it was starting my workouts and focusing on getting in shape. During that time I lost a couple pounds (and maybe more importantly didn't gain) and I saw my body change in a lot of ways for the better.
Then we started cooking on Sundays for the week and tried to incorporate Paleo into our diets.
Then I took the 30-day no sugar challenge.
Then on day 15 of the challenge, it was going so well that I decided to cut carbs and dairy and go 100% Paleo.
I dropped 5 pounds. I threw my hands up in the air with the thrill that I finally felt like I was making progress!
But now I'm sort of feeling stuck again even though I've only been doing this for a couple of months and the last week has been successful. I tend to bounce on the scale (only by 2 pounds) here and there. I'd be okay if it stayed the same, but of course I want to see it go down and I really feel discouraged when it goes up, even if it's by a pound or two.
But I'm trying to tell myself that this is a journey and a process and it's not all going to click into place overnight. Part of my problem is wanting instant gratification (i.e. sugar fix or caffeine boost) and that I need to be patient and give my body a change to respond.
Easy come. Easy go.
When people lose weight quickly they gain it back quickly and usually add a few pounds while they're at it. And by people, I mean me.
So I'm trying desperately to be patient with this, take my time, give my body time to adjust to the workouts and dietary changes all while nursing a baby who is in the weaning process. Lots of changes.
But this is what I know so far:
-Eating Paleo cuts off my cravings. If I'm feeling hunger it's because I am hungry, not because I'm craving something or because I'm bored. I don't mind being hungry for a little bit so much, but I am no match for a sugar craving, I give in every time. So this is huge step toward normal eating for me! And it shows me that it's not about being disciplined so much as it is about choosing and eating the right foods to begin with.
-This is something I feel I could do long term, it's not a gimic, it's not a starvation diet, there's nothing yo-yo about this.
-I sleep harder and better. This maybe be a combination of the diet changes and the intense workouts.
-I have more consistent energy. When the boys go down for their naps and I'm tired from chasing them all day or from being up some nights, I typically want to eat sugar, drink caffeine and watch tv in order to make the most of my "me" time. Now, if I'm tired, I sleep. I take a nap when they're napping. Not everyday, but sometimes. I used to judge stay-at-home moms if they napped during the day because I figured it must be the easiest job in existence. Now I know otherwise. This is the hardest job I've ever had in my life (though the benefits are incredible and my clients are pretty cute) and it is very physically demanding. But...that's a post for another day. So if I'm tired, why not sleep for a bit?
If I'm not tired, I usually put on a show in my room and have an apple with some almond butter so I don't feel deprived and I still have a nice "me" time to recharge me for the second half of the day.
This has helped me to decrease frustration I'm feeling due to the fact that with little ones, my day doesn't always go as planned and I'm not always the one calling the shots. A little me time in front of the tv or in a smokin' hot bath does the trick!
-If I'm having a sugar craving, it's probably because I've let myself get too hungry. So I eat. Protein.
So these are huge accomplishments for me and great progress and I hope and pray I can incorporate them into my life after the 30 day challenge in a way that will help me to feel good, healthy, happy, lose weight, and be a good example to my boys.
For a while my focus was on getting the workouts under my belt and learning how to choose the right foods.
Early on someone asked me if I had looked up Paleo recipes and I laughed. I was so not there yet!
But now I'm starting to read other's blogs and articles about eating Paleo. What I'm discovering is that even though Paleolithic foods are more healthy and better fuel for your body, you still have to have a deficit in calories in order to lose weight.
I really really really really don't want to over complicate this. I like that it takes thought to choose the right foods and time to prepare them, that's okay. But I don't want to calculate and count points, measure, weigh, and get bogged down with all of that.
But I do think that my next step is to start counting calories to make sure that there's a deficit between calories in and calories out. Because as of now I know I'm picking all of the right foods, but I don't have a clue as to how many calories I'm intaking each day and it could be varying significantly from day to day.
And my family will be happy to know that I'm ready to start cooking Paleo friendly meals they will like! I just ordered Eat Like a Dinosaur and Practical Paleo. So I'm excited to broaden our horizons and get creative with this new way of eating.
Then we started cooking on Sundays for the week and tried to incorporate Paleo into our diets.
Then I took the 30-day no sugar challenge.
Then on day 15 of the challenge, it was going so well that I decided to cut carbs and dairy and go 100% Paleo.
I dropped 5 pounds. I threw my hands up in the air with the thrill that I finally felt like I was making progress!
But now I'm sort of feeling stuck again even though I've only been doing this for a couple of months and the last week has been successful. I tend to bounce on the scale (only by 2 pounds) here and there. I'd be okay if it stayed the same, but of course I want to see it go down and I really feel discouraged when it goes up, even if it's by a pound or two.
But I'm trying to tell myself that this is a journey and a process and it's not all going to click into place overnight. Part of my problem is wanting instant gratification (i.e. sugar fix or caffeine boost) and that I need to be patient and give my body a change to respond.
Easy come. Easy go.
When people lose weight quickly they gain it back quickly and usually add a few pounds while they're at it. And by people, I mean me.
So I'm trying desperately to be patient with this, take my time, give my body time to adjust to the workouts and dietary changes all while nursing a baby who is in the weaning process. Lots of changes.
But this is what I know so far:
-Eating Paleo cuts off my cravings. If I'm feeling hunger it's because I am hungry, not because I'm craving something or because I'm bored. I don't mind being hungry for a little bit so much, but I am no match for a sugar craving, I give in every time. So this is huge step toward normal eating for me! And it shows me that it's not about being disciplined so much as it is about choosing and eating the right foods to begin with.
-This is something I feel I could do long term, it's not a gimic, it's not a starvation diet, there's nothing yo-yo about this.
-I sleep harder and better. This maybe be a combination of the diet changes and the intense workouts.
-I have more consistent energy. When the boys go down for their naps and I'm tired from chasing them all day or from being up some nights, I typically want to eat sugar, drink caffeine and watch tv in order to make the most of my "me" time. Now, if I'm tired, I sleep. I take a nap when they're napping. Not everyday, but sometimes. I used to judge stay-at-home moms if they napped during the day because I figured it must be the easiest job in existence. Now I know otherwise. This is the hardest job I've ever had in my life (though the benefits are incredible and my clients are pretty cute) and it is very physically demanding. But...that's a post for another day. So if I'm tired, why not sleep for a bit?
If I'm not tired, I usually put on a show in my room and have an apple with some almond butter so I don't feel deprived and I still have a nice "me" time to recharge me for the second half of the day.
This has helped me to decrease frustration I'm feeling due to the fact that with little ones, my day doesn't always go as planned and I'm not always the one calling the shots. A little me time in front of the tv or in a smokin' hot bath does the trick!
-If I'm having a sugar craving, it's probably because I've let myself get too hungry. So I eat. Protein.
So these are huge accomplishments for me and great progress and I hope and pray I can incorporate them into my life after the 30 day challenge in a way that will help me to feel good, healthy, happy, lose weight, and be a good example to my boys.
For a while my focus was on getting the workouts under my belt and learning how to choose the right foods.
Early on someone asked me if I had looked up Paleo recipes and I laughed. I was so not there yet!
But now I'm starting to read other's blogs and articles about eating Paleo. What I'm discovering is that even though Paleolithic foods are more healthy and better fuel for your body, you still have to have a deficit in calories in order to lose weight.
I really really really really don't want to over complicate this. I like that it takes thought to choose the right foods and time to prepare them, that's okay. But I don't want to calculate and count points, measure, weigh, and get bogged down with all of that.
But I do think that my next step is to start counting calories to make sure that there's a deficit between calories in and calories out. Because as of now I know I'm picking all of the right foods, but I don't have a clue as to how many calories I'm intaking each day and it could be varying significantly from day to day.
And my family will be happy to know that I'm ready to start cooking Paleo friendly meals they will like! I just ordered Eat Like a Dinosaur and Practical Paleo. So I'm excited to broaden our horizons and get creative with this new way of eating.
Monday, May 13, 2013
DAY TWENTY!
I have some lingering questions about Paleo and I forget to ask the coaches @ Vertias because I'm usually too busy trying not to die (just kidding...mostly). But here they are:
Why can't you eat cheese? It's animal bi-product and full of good things (I think).
Is the cholesterol in the meat an issue?
Do many people experience heartburn with Paleo? I had heartburn the other day and hopefully it was a fluke caused by some spicy seasoning, but I'm still wondering.
Do you have to portion meats?
Could it be that Paleo works just because we're limiting what we're able to eat and not because it's really the best way to eat? (Thanks, Sus for this question) I definitely feel like I have fewer options and Paleolithic foods takes more time to cook/prep so therefore I eat less.
Should you go totally Paleo if you're pregnant or breastfeeding?
Do calories count or is it really more about the content of the foods you're eating?
But overall this makes sense to me. I haven't lost a ton of weight but I think that if this is truly "normal" eating and I'm exercising enough that the results will come if I'm patient. It took quite a bit of time to gain weight so I imagine that if you're doing it right, it can take some time to get rid of it as well.
I also know that if I love a food, it's probably bad. The Kristin food pyramid goes something like this from bottom to top:
Tons of sugar and candy and coke.
Lots of breads and starches.
Hunks of cheese.
Some meats.
A bit of fruit.
Limited veggies.
This pyramid has not been working for me so well. So I figure if I reverse this pyramid I'll be doing myself a favor:
Tons of veggies.
More fruit.
Meat as a dietary staple.
Minimize dairy.
Cut out most starches and carbs with the exception of some whole grains occasionally.
Eliminate sugar and candy and cokes except on truly special occasions.
This pretty much reflects the principles of Paleo and I think it could be a good change for me. I guess we'll see.
Why can't you eat cheese? It's animal bi-product and full of good things (I think).
Is the cholesterol in the meat an issue?
Do many people experience heartburn with Paleo? I had heartburn the other day and hopefully it was a fluke caused by some spicy seasoning, but I'm still wondering.
Do you have to portion meats?
Could it be that Paleo works just because we're limiting what we're able to eat and not because it's really the best way to eat? (Thanks, Sus for this question) I definitely feel like I have fewer options and Paleolithic foods takes more time to cook/prep so therefore I eat less.
Should you go totally Paleo if you're pregnant or breastfeeding?
Do calories count or is it really more about the content of the foods you're eating?
But overall this makes sense to me. I haven't lost a ton of weight but I think that if this is truly "normal" eating and I'm exercising enough that the results will come if I'm patient. It took quite a bit of time to gain weight so I imagine that if you're doing it right, it can take some time to get rid of it as well.
I also know that if I love a food, it's probably bad. The Kristin food pyramid goes something like this from bottom to top:
Tons of sugar and candy and coke.
Lots of breads and starches.
Hunks of cheese.
Some meats.
A bit of fruit.
Limited veggies.
This pyramid has not been working for me so well. So I figure if I reverse this pyramid I'll be doing myself a favor:
Tons of veggies.
More fruit.
Meat as a dietary staple.
Minimize dairy.
Cut out most starches and carbs with the exception of some whole grains occasionally.
Eliminate sugar and candy and cokes except on truly special occasions.
This pretty much reflects the principles of Paleo and I think it could be a good change for me. I guess we'll see.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
DAY NINETEEN
Paleo.
Over the last two months I've progressively transitioned my diet to become completely Paleo. Caveman diet. At this point I'm completely Paleo. Well...95% Paleo. Sometimes I have protein shakes and today I had some hummus which is technically not Paleo. But I'm not going to nitpick myself when my diet has improved so drastically (finally). Two months ago I thought it was pronounced "Pa-lay-o" (ha ha), so I've come a long way. :)
Paleo is intriguing and sometimes confusing.
So much of what Paleo says goes against what I've always thought I knew...
- Meat should be the base of our diets.
-Red meat is not bad for you, it's the way we (the human race) ate for millions of years, up until the last couple thousand years, which is a blip on the radar. We are carnivores.
- Grains turn to sugar and we should limit or eliminate grains from our diet.
- Sugar is addictive. (I knew it was good but I didn't understand that my body could become dependent on it until I realized it was getting easier around day 9 of my 30 day challenge).
-Soy and peanuts are from the devil. (I paraphrase)
It all sort of makes sense to me but then at the same time my preconceived ideas of what foods are healthy are conflicting with what I think I thought I knew.
Bad foods: Cholesterol. Fat. Heart Disease + High Blood Pressure = Red Meat. Less meat, more whole grains.
Good foods: Low fat. Reduced fat. Sugar free. No sugar added. Yogurt. Cheese & milk for calcium.
I've lost 5 pounds since I committed to Paleo completely. Is it because I have less food options to choose from? Is it because Paleo really works? I'd love to say that Paleo is awesome and the greatest thing ever but it all depends on how this goes long term. I don't want to get all pumped just to fizzle a few weeks or even months down the road.
But for now I only have positive things to say. I've lost weight pretty much for the first time since I had Tillman, I don't feel hungry, it takes more work and preparation but I feel like I still have options and variety, with discipline I think I could do this long term because I'm not starving or constantly obsessing like I have on other diets.
So for now, we wait. I'll do my very best to be consistent with this.
Because there is no plan B.
Over the last two months I've progressively transitioned my diet to become completely Paleo. Caveman diet. At this point I'm completely Paleo. Well...95% Paleo. Sometimes I have protein shakes and today I had some hummus which is technically not Paleo. But I'm not going to nitpick myself when my diet has improved so drastically (finally). Two months ago I thought it was pronounced "Pa-lay-o" (ha ha), so I've come a long way. :)
Paleo is intriguing and sometimes confusing.
So much of what Paleo says goes against what I've always thought I knew...
- Meat should be the base of our diets.
-Red meat is not bad for you, it's the way we (the human race) ate for millions of years, up until the last couple thousand years, which is a blip on the radar. We are carnivores.
- Grains turn to sugar and we should limit or eliminate grains from our diet.
- Sugar is addictive. (I knew it was good but I didn't understand that my body could become dependent on it until I realized it was getting easier around day 9 of my 30 day challenge).
-Soy and peanuts are from the devil. (I paraphrase)
It all sort of makes sense to me but then at the same time my preconceived ideas of what foods are healthy are conflicting with what I think I thought I knew.
Bad foods: Cholesterol. Fat. Heart Disease + High Blood Pressure = Red Meat. Less meat, more whole grains.
Good foods: Low fat. Reduced fat. Sugar free. No sugar added. Yogurt. Cheese & milk for calcium.
I've lost 5 pounds since I committed to Paleo completely. Is it because I have less food options to choose from? Is it because Paleo really works? I'd love to say that Paleo is awesome and the greatest thing ever but it all depends on how this goes long term. I don't want to get all pumped just to fizzle a few weeks or even months down the road.
But for now I only have positive things to say. I've lost weight pretty much for the first time since I had Tillman, I don't feel hungry, it takes more work and preparation but I feel like I still have options and variety, with discipline I think I could do this long term because I'm not starving or constantly obsessing like I have on other diets.
So for now, we wait. I'll do my very best to be consistent with this.
Because there is no plan B.
Saturday, May 11, 2013
DAY EIGHTEEN
My silence is not a sign that I've fallen off the wagon! It's a sign that I've fallen into a rhythm with this no-sugar business. Whoo hoo! And over the last few days I've been successful at weeding out all grains and dairy as well. As hard as giving up sugar was, giving up grains has not been quite so challenging.
When I have a craving I still want Diet Coke and candy, but the cravings are MUCH fewer and further between. And when I do have cravings it's either because I'm doing something that would normally include junk food (i.e. at the movies, when I'm stressed, when I'm giving tours at the hospital, etc.)
But I've also come to realize that sugar cravings are most often triggered by being hungry or thirsty in general. If I eat regular meals and drink plenty of water it's usually just fine.
So...EIGHTEEN days down! Go me.
When I have a craving I still want Diet Coke and candy, but the cravings are MUCH fewer and further between. And when I do have cravings it's either because I'm doing something that would normally include junk food (i.e. at the movies, when I'm stressed, when I'm giving tours at the hospital, etc.)
But I've also come to realize that sugar cravings are most often triggered by being hungry or thirsty in general. If I eat regular meals and drink plenty of water it's usually just fine.
So...EIGHTEEN days down! Go me.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
DAY FOURTEEN
I'm feeling good. Going to the store is getting MUCH easier and the cravings are minimal. Still a little bit in shock that I've made it this far. But getting ready to roll out total Paleo. Tonight we'll be cooking and grilling up a storm so we'll have some good lunch and dinner choices that are easy because we put he time into cooking up front.
We've been doing this for a few weeks now, but not without the aid of some sugar and some carbs. This should be interesting...
We've been doing this for a few weeks now, but not without the aid of some sugar and some carbs. This should be interesting...
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