Date Night

My one goal over the holiday break was to go on a date night with my husband. 

Little did I know that the only "break" we were going to get was in the bones of Troy's foot.  It ended up being a week of Troy laying on the couch asking for stuff and complaining that his neck hurt from watching too much tv.

Hey...it's my blog, I can say what I want.  :)

So the night before Troy was supposed to go back to work I called mom and dad in desperation and asked them to come watch the boys.  They were all too happy to come hang out with their little babes. 

So off we went on our date!

Once we got past the first 15 minutes of Troy complaining that he wasn't aware of any date on our calendar, complaining about the $35 dollars that dinner, coke, and a movie were going to cost, me threatening to turn the car around (see broken foot above...I was driving), we were off to have a great time.

We went to supper and talked about all of the things we hadn't been caught up on over the last couple of months since our last date.  I split a meal with him and the waiter gave me free soup, so it only cost $8 each.  I think that made him happy that in the words of Glenna Knight, I was a "cheap date".

Then we're not only the people who are so cheap that we bring gas station candy into the movie theater, we're actually the people who are too cheap to spring for gas station candy, so we went to HEB instead.  Yep.  I feel special.  But HEB ended up being the highlight of my night.

We got to the store and all of the motorized carts for old people were out of batteries, so we had to ask some guy to grab one for us.  It was certainly the highlight of that guy's night.  So off we went and boy do those little motorized carts cover some good ground! In the meantime I almost peed my pants every time we passed an old ladies on foot who glared at us for taking the last motorized cart.

We finally make it to the candy aisle, me walking about 10 feet in front of Troy who has become far too comfortable buzzing through the grocery stores (and Home Depot) on what he imagines to be a tiny go-cart custom designed to meet his need for speed.

I grab a roll of ShockTarts and a Laffy Taffy, Troy grabs a movie sized box of Twizzlers.  No sooner that I put my roll of ShockTarts in his basket, they fall through the holes of the basket and he runs over them, leaving a 5 foot trail of candies.  As if that wasn't funny enough, he apologized profusely in an old lady voice.  I had to close my eyes, cross my legs, and plug my ears in an effort not to pee on the floor in the middle of the candy aisle of HEB.  P.S. Picture him hunched over like an old man, for some reason he felt the need to play the part wherever he went.  I saw my life flash forward about 50 years!

Anyways, I grabbed a $4 chapstick from the Burt's Bee's wax because my lips were so dry and I couldn't find my usual $1 stuff.  It sure had a funny smell to it, but it did the job.

So we got in the car to try and make our movie on time.  But as soon as we sat down in the car Troy rips a huge fart (the stuff dream dates are made of).  I did my usual yelling with my head sticking out the window and asked why he waited until the vehicle was sealed when he had 15 yards of fresh air to pollute on the way to the car. 

Suddenly he asked me in a panicked voice, "Why does my fart smell like potpourri?!?!"

"THAT'S MY CHAPSTICK, YOU FOOL!!!"

More leg crossing, eye closing, and ear plugging for me, he would have killed me if I had peed in his car!