Hurry Up and Wait

I trust the birth process.  I trust God's timing.  But man, that became a real challenge when I was sitting around still pregnant at 41 weeks and 5 days with no signs of labor.  You learn a lot about yourself when you've waited almost two weeks past your due date for your sweet baby to arrive.

All of my friends who were pregnant and due around the same time were popping like wine corks.  Then the girls who were due weeks after me had their babies.  And here I sat....waiting.  Waiting.  Waiting.

We attended Vacation Bible School which started on the Monday that I was due.  I told everyone I wouldn't be there Friday, I was pretty sure of it.  But Friday came and went.  By Saturday I was feeling a bit discouraged, a bit concerned, just a little bit anxious.  But that night I had some pretty good strong contractions and found new hope!  I called the midwife to let her know I was having some good strong contractions but told her that we would stay home a bit longer to be sure.

I laid down that night with some contractions, but they soon fizzled out.

Monday I had an appointment for a non-stress test (20 minutes of fetal monitoring) and a biophysical profile (ultrasound).  Considering the fact that it was supposed to be a non-stress test, I was stressed!  I had never been through this process and I had seen way to many friends and students of mine go through this only to be induced the same day.  The OBs say that the baby is getting too big, the amniotic fluid is low, mom's blood pressure is high (no duh with all the poking and prodding and everyone around them telling them it's 'not healthy' for a baby to go past 40 weeks gestation!), the placenta didn't grade well, etc. 

While I trusted and loved my midwives (who never once overreacted in my 9 and 1/2 months of pregnancy (or even after an eventful birth), I was still nervous that those performing the tests would be 'on the hunt' to find something wrong.  Afterall, it all comes down to liability.  Not necessarily logic, evidence, or reason.

 Packing up my bags each time we went in for testing felt like D-day.  Each time I wondered if I would make it home that night to sleep in my own bed, or if I would be forced into an induction for some made up medical condition.

Tuesday I took the boys to the train museum.  I couldn't stand the idea of just sitting around the house thinking about waiting.  We had a great time and it was a special gift to have fun with my big boys before the baby arrived.

Wednesday I tried acupuncture, deep tissue massage, and got an adjustment & alignment at West U Wellness.  If I was going to be induced, I wanted to know that I gave my body every change to go into labor on its own.  I was willing to try any natural remedy available (including sex everyday, as prescribed by my midwife....not as fun as it sounds at 9 and 1/2 months pregnant)! 

Thursday was another biophysical profile and non-stress test.  That day we scheduled the induction for Sunday night at 5pm.  I was extremely anxious but stayed focused on getting myself home and was encouraged that I still had two days left to go into labor on my own.  Knowing that 42 weeks is not the magic number for things to start going badly, I laid awake at night contemplating the idea of not showing up for the induction.  But where would I go to give birth?  Who would take me?  Do I walk in to the closest ER and hope for the best?  What kind of options are these?

Friday my mom took the boys and left me to do some Hypnobirthing relaxation practice and meditation.  I spent the morning researching castor oil and the effect it has on labor.  Remember, I said I was willing to try anything at this point! So....I spent that afternoon during the boys naps on the toilet.  Then I went back for more acupuncture, deep tissue massage, and another adjustment & alignment.  On the way home I picked up some Evening Primrose Oil and red raspberry leaf tea.  We went for a family walk that night.

With 48 hours left till induction day, no signs of labor, and a baby so high that I could feel him kicking my rib cage, I didn't have much hope left. 

After the boys went to bed that Friday night, I took a second dose (2 tablespoons) of castor oil and we settled in for the night.  We had sex for the zillionth time.  And I had some pretty good contractions start up, but they were no more strong or intense than they had been the previous Saturday when we called the midwife.

Troy went to bed and I decided to stay up to walk around and sit on the birth ball.   I went for a visit to the baby's room, hoping I could visualize him out of me!  I looked around, imagined what it would be like when he got here, stuffed some cloth diapers to give myself something to do, and paced the hallways.  While I had been in regular prayer asking the Lord not to let me go into an induction or to have a c-section, I hadn't meditated in prayer and scripture and I was feeling called to do so.  I found an awesome blog titled "Scriptural Encouragement for Preparing & Giving Birth".  The author packed a powerful punch of scripture verses and one stood out to me.  Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen ~Hebrews 11:1.  I made it the wallpaper on my phone and tattooed it on my heart. 

More contractions, more walking, more doubt that this was really it.

TO BE CONTINUED.....