Horror Stories

My previous notions of what it would be like to be pregnant may have been a bit skewed. I had visions of people standing up to give me their seat on the bus (the fact that I never ride a bus is irrelevant). People would be extra sensitive and ask you what they can to for you and how they could help to make you more comfortable.

WRONG!

People LOVE to tell their horror stories!!!

"I was in labor for 4 days." I am stupid enough to ask, "But it wasn't excruciation labor pain, right? It was more like light contractions until you fully went into labor?" And the answer that I knew was coming but hoped against all odds wasn't coming, "No. It was excruciating. But every labor is different."

Fantastic.

"Oh you're 24 weeks pregnant? I was pregnant once but I lost the baby when I was 24 weeks pregnant."


Great! Thanks for that. As if I haven't already Googled enough and found my own terrifying information about what can happen when you're pregnant.

"My stretch marks never went away. Your body will NEVER go back to the way it was before."


Awesome.


"Labor and delivery is the closest thing to death that you will probably ever experience."


Except actual death.


"I had an emergency c-section...with no pain medication."


Awwwww man!


"I tried to have a natural birth but ended up crying so hysterically that they had no choice but to give me the epidural. Everyone who tries to have a natural birth ends up asking for an epidural."


Thanks for that.


"I tore all the way from my hoo-ha up to my belly button (I may have exaggerated that one a bit). I had to have 38 stitches (that part is true)."


What?!

I told someone that my mom was 2 weeks late with my sister and 4 weeks late with me according to our estimated due dates. I told her that I wasn't getting my hopes up about going into labor any time soon because the labor history of your mother tends to repeat itself. Their response? "Oh. Well, I knew this girl who was 3 days over her due date. When she went in to see her doctor they sent her home and told her she wasn't ready. Her baby died inside of her the next day."

Pardon my French, but WHAT THE HELL?!?! Who tells that to someone who is pregnant with their first child and more than likely scared to death about what's to come?! Do you not remember how scary this whole process was or you just really enjoy providing vulnerable pregnant women with new nightmares?

I vow at this time that even if I have a very difficult labor and things go all wrong that I will tell every pregnant woman I know how beautiful the experience of labor was. It was amazing. It is truly a privilege to be a woman and be able to experience such a joyous miracle! Or at the very least I will just keep my mouth shut! No horror stories. No discouragement.

From now on when someone talk to me about anything negative I will just nod my head and smile. All the while I will be hearing, "La la la la la la la la. I can't hear you!" in my head. So if I have a dazed and glazed over look in my eye next time we have a conversation, you may want to stop and think about what you're saying :)