As you know if you read my gingerbaby story, I've had some bizarre dreams lately. After our last visit to the doctor I left feeling that I have very little control over the decisions that are being made for me. The midwives are concerned because my blood pressure has been high lately. I explained that it is because I am concerned that they will find something that will cause them to whisk me off to the hospital to be induced, or worse, a c-section! The closer I get to my due date the more I realize the possibility of that happening.
I have this idea of going into labor on my own and having a natural childbirth. This idea does not include induction or a c-section. So when I go to the doc I am thinking about all of these possibilities and I get progressively more and more nervous as I wait in the waiting room. By the time they take my blood pressure it is usually somewhere around 153 over 67 (which Troy could trump in his most relaxed moment). But they do not want it to be over 140/90. The bottom number is always low, but the top number (which is related to nerves and is affected by a pounding heartbeat) is always a little bit high.
Two words: WHO-CARES?
I take my blood pressure three times a days myself and it is ALWAYS normal. I take it when I am rushing to work, when I'm watching TV, after a stressful day, after a "tiff" with Troy...and it's always always normal no matter what the scenario. Yet I go to the doctor and without fail it is high. They call this "white coat" syndrome. Some say it's a myth. Some say your BP shouldn't react that quickly. Others swear that this is a real thing that affects a lot of people. I heavily lean toward the latter.
BUT apparently this is a big enough deal for the midwives to consider putting me on bed rest. Not happening! First, unlike the rest of their housewife patients I cannot just stay home and put my feet up. I work a 40-hour a week job and I "gotzta" get paid. :) So hopefully we will avoid the bed rest talk at least until January 22nd when my short term disability kicks in! I know Troy is praying that I will not be put on bed rest. Me tied down to a bed, unable to go anywhere or see anyone for 3 weeks....not good!
Anywhoooo....the night that we got back from the doctor I had a wicked-crazy (as they say on the west coast) dream. In the dream we had come home from the doctor's office and they had told me that they were going to have to amputate my legs. We were both really sad but knew that there was nothing that we could do, the decision was made by the all-powerful doctor. I woke up, wondered if that had been a dream or real life. I wiggled my toes and realized it was a dream and sat appreciating the use of my legs few a few minutes. Then I began to wonder where on earth that dream came from! As I sat there pondering at 3 o'clock in the morning I realized that the whole point of the dream is that my fate is in the hands of the doctors and midwives. The fact that I'm sitting there telling them that I'm fine is irrelevant. If they catch one thing that looks abnormal they have to test, poke and prod you until they realize that there's nothing there to worry about. They are so jaded by malpractice suites that they can't even stop to ask if the risk of stressing out their patient by making them think that something is wrong is worth the trade-off. If I didn't have high BP before...well I do now!
Troy keeps reminding me that they cannot MAKE me do anything. So there's a difficult balance between trusting the professionals who do this everyday and trusting your own body and instincts. So for now I will continue letting them test me even though I feel confident they will not find anything. And if my BP stays the same that it has then it shouldn't be enough for them to overreact to and I will ultimately get to have my natural childbirth if I can keep my nerves in check.
Ughhhh....FRUSTRATED!
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I have to share (even though I know how you feel about that)! I had a very similar experience when I was preggers with Bailey. My BP shot up the second I had my first Dr. appt, and was always high at the doctor. She was concerned, so I started checking my BP at home, and it was always fine when I was away from the doctor. The best advice I can give you is to document what you get when you check your BP at home, including the time, date, and any situational info that might be important. It is a great defense against the bedrest issue. Also, make sure you're taking it at work, too, so the doc can't tell you to back off work. It's also great that you're checking your BP at home, because if you do get an abnormally high, you'll see it right away. High BP in pregnancy is a ligit concern for the baby, but especially for you. I'm not going to freak you out with all the stuff that could happen, but don't blow it off if your BP is high away from the doc's office! You can still have your natural child birth as long as you start to take it easy if your BP gets high.
ReplyDeleteI know you guys are getting excited! We can't wait to meet the little guy!