Brest Pumps (That makes me laugh...)

That's always been a funny phrase to me, it sounds so bizarre and the actual contraption looks just as bizarre as it sounds.

What's not so funny about breast pumps is how incredibly expensive they are, they can easily run up to $400 a pop.

Fortunately for me I have a friend and co-worker who recently had a baby and was willing to give me hers for a very reasonable price. She set it up in her cubicle to show me how it works and how to put the whole contraption together (I had never actually seen one close up). We sat there in her cube as she demonstrated the sucking effect on her hand, illustrated where to put the breast pad leaky thingies and proudly showed me the plastic shiny nipple protectors in all of their glory (still not sure what those are for, though I guess I will find out). Our Manager walked by but barely did a double take as he has seen and heard much stranger around our office. This was just after he overheard me advising a co-worker to kagel. I loudly (because I have no other volume) informed her that she needs to "clench and release 200 times a day" when she announced that she would have an accident if we kept making her laugh.

(Kagels are a muscle exercise that can help you control your bladder and can also help you recover from delivery more quickly....but that's a completely different blog).

Anywhooo...I brought my new contraption home, along with the satchel bag and equipment bag (one of my co-workers actually asked me if I was headed to the airport). Troy loves toys and mechanical things, so I figured this would be no different. And it wasn't. He opened the satchel as if it was a Christmas gift and began putting the wires together and screwing on the majiggers. He cranked it up to level 5 and looked at me expectantly. He gave it a second thought and said that I shouldn't test it out as in a worst case scenario it could send me into labor, or at least could start something that shouldn't start happening for another 2 months...if you know what I'm sayin'.

So he pulls up his shirt and places the cone shaped foreign device on his own nipple. I almost fell down laughing and assured him that it would not work on his little man-boob. But he instructed me to turn on the pump nevertheless.

Sure enough, it worked (which leaves hope for my sister in the future should she decide to have kids....just kidding Aunty Shanty)! It contracted and released just as it should....again I'm crying laughing at this point so I can't actually see what was going on. He turned off the machine, looked out the window and said, "I really hope our neigbors can't see this, I would never live this one down!"

This is just in case you need a visual while laughing at him in your head......................................He is such a good sport and is going to be an amazing father...look at the sacrifices he has already begun to make! Good times....baby love, mucus plugs, and breast pumps.....