Oh Baby Baby!

I'm 15 weeks pregnant and I've only just now sat down to publish a new post. Can you tell that I have my hands full with a busy busy toddler?!

I am so excited. Physically this pregnancy feels identical to my pregnancy with Turner. Thank goodness! Yet emotionally it's completely different. I feel relaxed and excited. I've completely acknowledged that beyond taking my vitamins and eating a balanced diet, everything is out of my control. So...I may as well relax and enjoy it!

I don't feel any less excited (future note to this baby if you ever doubt how much you were loved from day 1, how much you are wanted!) for this pregnancy, in fact, feeling less anxious has cleared my head and has allowed me to really appreciate this pregnancy. Though sometimes I'm ready to fast forward and meet this baby, I can also appreciate that he/she (pretty sure he, but whatever!) is safe and NOT crying in my belly. In six months, that won't be the case, so I'll enjoy the peace and quiet and closeness now.

I've decided that I don't want to deal with having to stay in the germ-infested hospital for 48 hours where they poke and prod you around the clock as if they don't want you to ever sleep again. Not that you'd be comfortable enough to sleep anyway! I want to be in my own bed, in my own environment, where I can be left alone to focus on my new baby. I want Turner to be a huge part of this birth. I don't want to come home two days later with this new stranger, leaving Turner to wonder what this new being is and why he's taking all of his mama's attention.

So...at the risk of begin seriously judged (and not really caring, obviously)...I'm having a home birth. I really have my heart set on this, and though this may cost us more than our 90/10 insurance would cover in the hospital, it's a worthy investment. I have my heart set on this and I know it's what's best for our family. And I can't wait!