A friend of mine who was struggling to produce enough milk for her baby swore to me that her pump told her day in and day out, "No milk. No milk. No milk. No milk." Being 5 months pregnant myself I shuttered to think of the loony things I would come up with as a result of being sleep deprived (see below for details).
One of my least favorite things to do since returning to work (besides actually returning to work) is to pump. Pump to store in the morning after I feed Turner at 5am. Pump at work at 8 o'clock, 11 o'clock and 2 o'clock. Pump pump pump.
So...I try to make it fun by giving into the voice that is my pump (or the voice in my head depending on the way you look at it). What deep and philosophical lesson does it have for me today?
The first thing my pump ever told me was "Spid-a-man. Spid-a-man. Spid-a-man." I think my mom may have called a therapist shortly after I shared this with her only 6 weeks after Turner was born.
Spid-a-man was followed by "Millionare. Millionare. Millionare." Me wishing I could be a millionare and stay home with my baby? Hmmm.
"You tha man. You tha man. You tha man." Or in my case "tha woman". Must be on a day that I am producing high volumes!
"Vitamins. Vitamins. Vitamins." Good reminder to make sure Turner gets proper second-hand nutrition.
And my personal favorite, "I donno. I donno. I donno." But that one is sometimes annoying since she says it in a French accent.
As much as I wish I was kidding...I'm not.
Ha ha! Any woman who has ever used an electric pump knows exactly what I'm talking about....I think.
:)
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Hahaha love it! My pump spoke to me too. I thought it said "Le Pew, Le Pew, Le Pew" like Peppi the cartoon skunk. Unfortunately, this didn't vary much and as soon as I thought it that's all I heard the rest of the session. I almost went completely insane.
ReplyDeleteI also flipped the thing on a minute ago to jog my memory since I don't use it much anymore. The Le Pew popped into my head right away. Glad to "hear" from you again!
You crack me up...you need to write a mommy book, Im sure you would be cracking everyone up ;)
ReplyDeleteHilarious! I have to pump for 24 and sometimes 48 hours. I make it my "me" time. I don't fold laundry or do another chore type thing, I read a fun book or play a game. It makes the time pass by faster plus I relax more so everything works easier :)
ReplyDeleteHey! I'm your newest follower and am soooooooo enoying your blog. Very funny! Hope to see you around mine sometime!
ReplyDeleteChelsea
http://vandylandmommy.blogspot.com