Tillman Lane

I'm 4 weeks from my due date and I'm not sure if I've blogged at all about Dickerson Baby #2.  Occasionally in the midst of taking care of my toddler-button I have flashes of Tillman one day reading through my blog (this may be wishful thinking) and wondering why I didn't write two-thousand posts like I did for Turner.

#1.  I am very busy trying to keep Turner alive.  He's a bit of a handful if you can't already tell that from previous posts.

#2.  I've really just been able to enjoy this pregnancy.  I worried about every little tinge of pain, every muscle ache, every minute I didn't feel Turner kicking.  I worried about his health and about the pending labor.  I knew when his fingers were no longer webbed.  I knew to the day when his heart first beat.  I knew when he had fingernails.  I knew when he started sucking his thumb in the womb.  If it's possible to know, I read about it.  And I read about every ailment, syndrome and disease a baby could be born with.  This pregnancy I've REALLY enjoyed the luxury of NOT worrying, of not stressing out.

I realized early on that I can't control everything.  The only thing I can do is take my prenatal vitamins, eat the best I can, exercise and stay healthy, and outside of those few things, the rest is completely in God's control!  Reading and understanding the 50 million things that could go wrong in pregnancy and labor really does me NO GOOD.  So why not sit back and enjoy it?  Enjoy every kick.  Enjoy every moment of getting plumper and plumper every day.  Why not?  It's going to happen anyway! 

So, Tillman (pretty sure that's your name), I want you to know from the bottom of my heart that even though this pregnancy is different, I still love you so much.  I am SO looking forward to your arrival.  I feel confident in my ability to give birth to you successfully and naturally.  I feel confident that God has great plans for you and that he will keep you safe and that I don't need to worry about those 50 million ailments, syndromes and diseases. 


It's a great place to be, just enjoying the moment, just enjoying the pregnancy.  I get to privately feel joy every time you kick, every time you move around (because let's face it, I already know you're just as active as your big brother) and I just get to relish in those moments that I have you to myself, safe and sound in my belly. 


I LOVE you and I can't wait to meet you.  I just have one request....please be a good sleeper.  ;)